January 15, 2011

You're Beautiful

There are times in my life that looking back, I wonder if I've done the right thing.  Should I have pushed harder?  Should I have stayed out of it?  Was I living in God's will or pushing my own agenda?

I know this is not unique to me, and even for me, this is not unique to a certain situation.

Heath and I have talked a lot lately about how we want to move forward with adoption. Would we want to adopt?  Would we want to foster?  If we fostered would will still consider adopting, or is fostering where God wants us... just providing that interim home and loving a child until they move on into forever.

When Analeigh left, we didn't know how it would go.  The boys had never experienced a "sibling" leaving and we (as parents) hadn't either.  I have days that all I do is think about her... what I want for her, how I don't get to make those choices. But, all-in-all, God has shown me that He will provide for her.  He loves her so much more than I do, and He has an amazing plan.

It has been so hard letting her go, but I also know that in the time we spent with her we were able to show her God's love and hopefully solidify His grace in her life.  There are certain things that I hope she'll carry with her and I know that others who do foster care are wanting the same.  It's why we're doing what we do.  Of everything that I wanted to instill in Analeigh, I think MercyMe's new song says it best.  For now, this is my prayer for her:

The days will come when you don't have the strength
When all you hear is you're not worth anything
Wondering if you ever could be loved
And if they truly saw your heart they'd see too much

You're beautiful
You're beautiful
You are made so much more than all of this
You're beautiful
You're beautiful
You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His
You're beautiful

And praying that you have the heart to find
Cause you are more than what is hurting you tonight
For all the lies you've held inside so long
And they are nothing in the shadow of the cross

You're beautiful
You're beautiful
You are made so much more than all of this
You're beautiful
You're beautiful
You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His
You're beautiful

Before you ever took a breath
Long before the world began
Of all the wonders He possessed
There was one more precious
Of all the earth and skys above
You're the one He madly loves
Enough to death

You're beautiful
You're beautiful
In His eyes

You're beautiful
You were meant for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful
You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His
You're beautiful
You're beautiful
You're meant for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful
You're beautiful
You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His

I don't know what God's plan for our family is moving forward, but I do know that giving a child the security of knowing how beautifully and wonderfully made they are can change their path forever.  

4 comments:

Allison said...

I will have to read the song another time when I'm not so weepy. We saw the kids tonight and it always feels so good yet still hurts a bit. They are doing well and YES God does have a plan and YES he loves them very much. I loved them sitting in my lap and all the hugs and kisses. They are still such sweet kids!

JodyB said...

Your strength in that situation amazes me so much... I just do not know how I could handle welcoming children into my heart so intimately, and then watching them walk away shortly after.

You are right though, that just a moment is worth so much...and I admire every person that makes that sacrifice with their hearts.

You guys rock, a lot. Whatever you decide, I am certain you will be greatly rewarded!

Stacy - midlifearmywife.com said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Midlife Army Wife said...

That song is beautiful! I know how you feel about having a child leave, and just like you've reminded me - you were able to give her an amazing love while she was with you that will last her a lifetime! The love she received from your boys and the lessons they learned through it all, are priceless! I pray that God reveals his plan for your family in his timing. Whether more children come into your home for a few days, or forever, I know they will be eternally blessed!